I need, I want- what we go through as parents

‘I need a new pair of jeans’
‘I just bought you jeans. What’s wrong with the other ones? Do they not fit anymore?’
‘No. They are the wrong color.’

‘OMG! I want that. It is the newest map pack out. Can I get it?’
‘Why not?’
‘Let’s see… room needs to be cleaned, your chores aren’t done, dog needs to be played with, need to see final grades, and yea- NO!’

‘I need to have those new shoes. They are fresh. Can I get them?’
‘Okay, well… I need some relaxing quiet time. I need a vacation. I need you to stop the incessant asking for more unnecessary items. I want to move. I want to go on a cruise. I want you to get up out of bed without me having to ask you three times after the alarm went off. I want a house with a wrap around porch and a big backyard. Oh wait, I can only get these things if I do something about it.’
‘Yes mom.’

I don’t know how many times we’ve gone through this a month. There is always something that they need or want. Everyone else has it so why can’t they. The last time I checked money didn’t grow on trees. Especially the money tree, it might be green but it doesn’t produce money. You have to work for it, or someone in the household works for it and if you want it that badly you need to earn it.

Children these days, and maybe even when I was growing up, don’t understand the concept of money. Are they not teaching these basic fundamentals in school? Probably not as they appear to be leaving it up to parents and some parents, as hard as they try to show their kids, just can’t get through to them. If it is shiny and sparkly kids want it. Advertising and television don’t help as it pushes the product right in front of them over and over and over until they come begging you to buy it. It makes you want to scream. Since I have a boy who enjoys video games as much as music, clothes, sports, and academics it has been a real eye opener to the need/want syndrome. I can only imagine what those with girls must go through. Heaven help you.

I say the need/want syndrome because until recently my son asked for everything. New shoes (even if his were only a couple months old); jeans that weren’t the right color had to be changed; another iTunes card because he used his entire $25.00 card in a 5 minute span of time; new map pack for some xBox game (which truly should come free with the game if you’ve already paid $60.00 for it-just sayin’); that specific blue hoodie that everyone at school had and only wore once. You get the picture. Needed to have it, wanted to have it and didn’t really appreciate it. It was shiny and sparkly and he wanted it. No, he didn’t get everything- I’m not a push over mom. He just had the same mentality as all other kids have- give me, give me, give me.

Now my son has acquired his own job. He does well academically, athletically, and can carry a job with the hours they give him. So kudos to him, we are happy. The best thing, is he now makes money and is learning that you have to have cash in the bank to get the things you ‘need’ and or ‘want’. If there is not enough money in the account that great big word comes across the screen ‘DECLINED’. Uh-oh. Guess you need to transfer or you can’t get it. Tough lesson and an embarrassing one too. I know that he has learned this lesson already as he now tells me that he needs to make sure he has ‘enough money in his account to purchase the item’. Ding-ding-ding. By George, I think he’s got it!

We do still buy things for my son. When he needs the big things (school clothes, shoes, supplies, car repairs) we purchase them. He however, will buy his own gas and what he feels he MUST have. He just surprises us now with little things here and there (even buys his own Mother’s Day and birthday gifts). Kind of a nice kickback for all those years of begging. Then again, I do still get…

‘Can you buy me these songs?’
‘Don’t you still have money on your iTunes account?’
‘No. I used it all, so can you buy it?’
‘How about you go buy an iTunes card this time. You have a job remember?’

Gotta love ’em.


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