Just as we cannot see our own faces without looking into a mirror, we cannot know ourselves without looking at our relationships.
Strange how things stay with us.
I’ve been evaluating things lately. Being as it is getting to the end of the year, I decided it was time to get a head start, but something prompted this evaluation really. It was a need to clean out the dead wood in my life.
There are times when we take things for granted, we all do it, but when we do it time and time again- that is when it will eventually become a problem. I’m to that point and I’ve been given a little perspective lately to boost my confidence to throw out the dead wood in my life and move on.
See I have always been the one who has been there for everything. Congratulations, promotions, births, deaths, a conversation when needed because people need it. I’ve been the rock for people to get through the toughest times, but in return when I’ve needed it- I’m the one holding myself up. It’s never the same. When plans are made, they are cancelled and I’m left to say, ‘it’s okay’, ‘no worries’, ‘we’ll catch up’, but it never happens. Well it just so happened that all I needed was 5 minutes and I couldn’t even get that. What does that tell me about where I stand as a friend? It tells me that I’ve just been hit by the biggest train and on the front of the train it says, ‘sucker’.
That moment gave me a reality check on everything. We really cannot know ourselves without looking at our relationships with others. Who we communicate with is key to who we are as people. I’ve been wrong all these years. I thought I had a friend I could trust and I was wrong. It breaks my heart to know I was such a fool and blindly led to believe they were someone other than truthful with me when all I have ever been was open and honest.
I now know that my reality has changed and the relationships I have with people will be changed forever from this point forward.