Layers of fog

I am on another flight. 

I seem to fly a lot lately. You get a lot of time to think when you are in the air. You can clear your mind of clutter and focus on what is important in life: family, health, love, and the pursuit of happiness. Where would we be everyday without any of these aspects? That leads me to my picture.

  

  

As I came in to Sacramento the other day I saw this beautiful layer of white. No it wasn’t a snow drift, though just a short 2 hours away they did have that; this was a layer of fog. Coming down through the fog it made me think about the different layers that we all hold close to us. Some are transparent and can easily be revealed to others. Some are so well hidden that when individuals chisel away at them it threatens our securities and leaves us exposed. As we approached the airport, each layer was a clear distinction to me that some people’s layers are so closely held to them because they are scared. They aren’t sure of what will happen if they open up- they lack trust not only in others but also in themselves. It made me realize that if you never peel back that layer, look beyond the fog, see through to the end- you’ll miss out on something truly special. One may miss something that they’ve been waiting for such as happiness. 

I guess my ‘ah-ha’ moment was those who never trust themselves or allow themselves to be a layer that is peeled back- well, they miss out on some of life’s best moments.

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Accomplishment well worth the wait!

Today has been a win-win for me.

I have been waiting and waiting for this day to arrive. My mind is now free and clear and I no longer have the need or pull that I once had to support a friendship that was only one sided in nature. I had the courage to stand up for myself today. To “own” my part in the disastrous, downward spiral of a hard learned lesson and pick up the pieces to move on. I owned today and I will own tomorrow. There is no turning back, there is only putting one foot in front of the other. I made my points, I stuck to what I needed to say and although it took every ounce of courage that I had, I walked out the door. Sometimes in life that is what you need to do. It is a process. It is the culmination of all wrong that has come of what once was and the fresh new beginning of what will soon be.

What has helped me get to this point has been the following:

1) A discussion with a colleague about friends. You learn a lot just by listening.

2) Extended travel and time to yourself to think about these endeavors.

3) My playlist

“Roar”- Katy Perry

“Don’t Put Dirt On My Grave Just Yet”- Nashville Cast feat. Hayden Panettiere

“Nothing in This World Will Ever Break My Heart Again”- Nashville Cast feat. Hayden Panettiere

“Tell That Devil”- Nashville Cast feat. Hayden Panettiere

“Cold One”- Eric Church

“I Lived”- One Republic

“If I Were Me”- Sound City

“Hangin’ On a Lie”- Nashville Cast feat. Hayden Panettiere

“A Life That’s Good”- Nashville Cast feat. Lennon & Maisy

Putting all the pieces together, I finally found the strength to complete the circle once and for all. My circle is now complete. My weight is lifted and I can move on with my life. I am free.

 

Stop sitting around- go do something

Every day we learn something new. It’s a good thing. We don’t want to just sit around and do nothing. That would be a waste. We aren’t created to sit and do nothing. If we were we’d be a lump of sand or coal or anything other than who we are.

Today I woke early and headed out to the tennis courts for actual lessons. I have ventured out before with my son who plays but never ‘learned’ how to play. So this past month I decided to head down to the city parks and recreation department and sign up. Glad I did. There are only two of us in the month long class so we will get plenty of instruction. For the hour that I am out there each Sunday morning I will learn the skills needed to hold my own on a tennis court and be able to play with others without feeling like a dope.

Already after the lesson today, I feel a bit more confident than before and can’t wait to get out there with my son and show him my new found skills.

So my lesson for the day is to take a risk and learn something new. You never know unless you try. Kind of like running that half-marathon you never thought you’d be able to run but could. That’s how I look at it. All it takes is a little push in the right direction, a butt to move off the couch and a commitment to try something different.

It’s the best feeling around right now.

This highway called life

A highway. A road with two or more lanes. Some may be rough, some may be easy, some may have ups and downs, but all lead to a destination.

There are highways that are full or empty with millions of miles travelled and countless hours put in. Depending on the highway chosen it is somewhere one can be free from the hustle and bustle. No walls to hold you back and no routines to chain you down. No phones, no e-mails, no meetings, no crowds. It is somewhere that you can breathe, you can scream, you can feel – you are once again alive. It is a choice.

Then there is the highway that you move along each day – the conveyer belt called life. You stare at your computer and try to get focused; sit in meetings and hardly pay attention; you do the same routine day to day and feel as if you will never be able to break the cycle. You need something different.

Sometimes you need to find that empty highway and take advantage of what you’ve been missing in your life. Enjoy what your given and be thankful for what you have. Take every minute in and make the most of it, you don’t know how long it will last. No one does. Even if it is for a day, a week, a weekend. The time we have to enjoy the empty highway is for each to know individually.

The highway that you are on may be a road that has been well travelled as mine has been for years. It has had its ups and downs, its rough patches and its repairs, but somewhere along that highway I got lost. I veered off track and needed refocusing. So I took the empty highway and it has made all the difference. I once again feel alive and that in itself is worth the risk of the unknown.

Live a little. Life only comes around once.

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Life is a journey- or is it?

We’ve all heard the expression ‘life is a journey, not a destination’ right? So how come we aren’t experiencing more of the journey and are focused only on the destination?

I’ve come to think that our culture is so focused on the desire to one-up each other that we aren’t taking the time to slow down and enjoy the journey it takes to get there. So what if there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow at the age of 27 with a fabulous car, house, and job. Have you had the time to live yet and have experiences or were you too busy climbing the ladder to notice that life existed around you?

How each of us lives our life is up to each of us, but actually LIVING that life is what makes the journey worthwhile.

Take a break, slow down, don’t be in such a rush to get somewhere, put your phone down and just experience life around you. There may be a piece of gold in there somewhere yet- but you won’t know unless you take the journey life has intended you to take.

A day on the range

I never thought I would ever shoot a gun. Me! No way. Last weekend my husband took my friend and I out to a clay target shooting range. Now he is military so yes, he knows how to shoot a gun, reload, fire, and if needed use to his defense- but me???? Hello, first timer here need to show me the ropes.

So him and his distinguished friend (I say distinguished because he is quite the shooter and very savvy) showed us the safety mechanisms, how to load, how to properly hold, where and how to shoot the targets, and how to carry your unloaded weapon on the course. There are a lot of things to remember but most importantly “Safety first and foremost.”

Having never held a gun before I was a bit nervous. We went up to our first target, watched my husband’s friend hit the targets and I was up. Ok, time to see if I could actually do this. I let them help me get set, had the gun held properly and I said ‘Pull’. Low and behold I hit it. Woohoo! The second one came up and I hit it again. Wow! I was so surprised. Where did that come from? The strangest thing too was that it gave me a real feeling of accomplishment. I did something I never thought I would do and it wasn’t at all as scary as I thought it would be.

Now I didn’t want a gun in my house with my child growing up. It is too dangerous and even though he is a teenager now I am still uncertain about having one in the house. I never even had a gun in my house when I grew up. So you have to understand, this was a whole-lot-a- new for me to get out there and try this. However, it is an experience I will do again. Let me tell you why…

There are so many horror stories out there regarding guns getting into the wrong hands that you never really know what could happen. People leave them lying around and young children pick them up, others leave them loaded and don’t lock them up, others still go off the deep end and shouldn’t have possession of one at all. It is a shame that something that has been around for centuries gets such a bad rap. Our ancestors used them to hunt for their food or protect their land, and yes the government used them to take land away as well, but they have been used for years. So many different scenarios surround guns yet the truth is, it isn’t the gun that is the problem- it is the person holding the gun.

Now I am not jumping on the gun control bandwagon and saying I am for or against guns. I won’t do that. What I will do is say that this experience in a “controlled” environment was FANTASTIC! That is why I will try it again. It gave me a sense of freedom and it gave me something to do with my husband besides golf, running, yard work, and the run-of-the- mill everyday events all others do. It’s a challenge. It is also something I can do with my friend who also enjoyed the day as much as I did.

So before you judge and say “Oh, it’s just another gun fanatic spouting off about how everyone should have the right to own…”, reread the post. It isn’t about that at all. It is really about taking a risk and going outside your comfort zone to try something new.

I did and it opened my eyes to a whole new world around me.

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