Each time your around- I Blush

I’m never too far from you as you are always in my thoughts. Each time i think about your smile, your eyes, your laugh- I blush.

After all these years I still remember the first butterflies in my stomach and the way I was giddy when we met. Flushed cheeks, nervous and excited. Blushed and young each time you get near. Every day, every moment it never gets old.

DailyPrompt: Blush


Childhood Memories

Every now and then we go back in time, does anyone know what I mean? A smell, a song, a familiar sight it doesn’t matter what it is but we are taken back.  Several things take me back to my childhood and don’t get me wrong it wasn’t all sunshine and roses but I do remember the happy moments most- I think we all do in some way.

My best moments to remember are playing at the beach near the lake, taking walks in the woods near the river or lake with my boyfriend, or playing in the front yard. As a child I loved to make forts out of blankets and believing I were in some other country. I am not a camper so this was the closest thing I ever got to really camping and it was perfectly fine with me. Other moments were playing with my Adventure People. Loved them. So many adventures and careers I pretended to be: EMT, Nurse, Rock Climber, Marine Life Rescue Worker, the list can go on- I had a great imagination. I also can’t leave out playing with Evil Kanevil and Dary Daring. I guess growing up in the mountains with your friends spread out throughout the Lake Tahoe basin it was hard to always get to their houses and one needed to be creative and learn to use their imagination. 

If you were to ask a GenX or GenY what they did, the answer would be different. I’m glad I was able to have fun, experience the outside and live. Your mind is an endless creative way to socialize even if it is with toys and the memories you create are lasting. 

Daily Prompt: Childhood

Keep your head up- you’ll make it through

Today isn’t an easy day, but I keep telling myself I’ll make it through.

Five years ago today my father passed away. In fact it is five years ago to the minute that he passed as I write this. It has been a difficult day filled with highs and lows as I have tried to work and move through them all, but right now as I sit in my California Room there is this wave of emotion that has taken over. I haven’t felt this way since I dropped to the floor in his hospital room next to the bed as I saw him lying there finally at peace and no longer struggling for air. I, for years, have tried to deal with death in different ways, but not having my father in my life has proven to be one of the hardest obstacles to overcome.

I know that people say it gets easier as time passes, and I myself, have told people that it gets easier- but with days like today I am not so sure. It is the memories that come over you or little things that come up that make you emotional. For instance, take college basketball. For years growing up and even when I left for college, my father and I watched the “sweet 16” and the “final four” NCAA tournament whenever I would come home. It seemed to be a tradition for us as I grew up playing basketball and he loved the sport himself. Duke, Villanova, Georgetown, North Carolina all favorites and it was exciting to watch the games together as it should be. If the favorites didn’t make it, then the underdog became the new favorite. It was our thing. I even remember watching Michael Jordan when he played for UNC before he ended up playing for the Bulls. Yeah talk about old school. After my fathers death though, I couldn’t watch a game at all. It was too painful as I would see him sitting there not as we use to sit there in the living room or in another room in the house, but as the the last time I saw him sitting in his hospital bed on a respirator. We still were watching the game but it wasn’t a “good time” for him to watch the game because he wasn’t happy nor was he enjoying it. I remember sitting there and thinking that he couldn’t be comfortable and that I wanted to do so much more for him. When I lost my father, I lost my love for the game and the one person who loved the sport more than myself and that has been difficult.

This year though, I told myself that he wouldn’t want that of me. That he would have wanted me to continue to watch. So I decided I would do it for dad. It isn’t the easiest thing to do and I might not make it through a whole game without crying but it is a way for dad to always be with me.

I talked to a friend today who told me I should probably get out of the house and go do something. I did something today, I ran, I worked, I took a breather and had a good cry. Not what they intended for me to do I am sure but a lot is going on today, at least I did that much.

Right now, I’m going to go watch some college hoops, have a beer, and celebrate my dad.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Treasure

Here is a treasure my husband brought back for me from Japan while on TDY in 1995. I was pregnant with my son at the time and our theme was Winnie-the-Pooh. Although I love Disney, Pooh is my favorite.

They have traveled across the Pacific Ocean, to Nevada, and into California. I’ve only lost the sticky seal that goes over the top all these years.

Sometimes it’s the little things that make the biggest impact on your memory and this little bottle of erasers is one for me.


Live for today

Redwoods, fresh air, sea salt…..ahhhhhh… Relaxation.

There is something about the smell of a forest that is reminiscent of time past. It takes you to another world where there are no traffic lights, no internet services, no disturbances- just a forest and a road.

Today on our adventure, even though I was only traveling on this road for a while when I had this experience, it was peaceful and reminded me of those simple years living at the lake.

Each day there are many influences that we all face, complications if you will. These complications we didn’t have when we were younger. Sure we may have had jobs and chores and screaming parents, but we didn’t have house payments, bills, children, marriages, divorces, and other outside influences that weighed in on our lives. We were young and free. So what happened?

I know the answer- Life. We grew up and moved on leaving our carefree selves behind. Do we have to though? Shouldn’t we still have fun? I don’t mean going out on the golf course and play a round of golf with the boys and smoke cigars after or going shopping with the girls; I mean REALLY have fun. Put the top down on a convertible, let loose, laugh, reenergize and live again. Feel and remember what it was like to be free.

It isn’t everyday that you are able to experience a day like I had today, but you should take time to enjoy life.

Would I have said this a year ago, no, probably not. Today, it is definitely something to do though. Life is short. Live for today.