Dormant

We all have a part of us that lies dormant. We don't want to show our true colors to people or are afraid to be ourselves at our jobs or in front of others because we'll get chastised for being abrupt or outspoken. We might even be shun from groups because we don't fit in with their ideals.

It is sad that people can't allow others to be who they are and speak their mind. It is unnerving that one can always be made out to be the 'bad guy' when others can do or say what they want. It is sad that some must lie dormant and create undue stress on their lives to get by in this world.

Individuals need to start looking at themselves and see that they are not always right, they are not always to push their ideals onto others that prior planning does create less anxiety in those they work with daily.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense to most, to me it does.

Daily Prompt: Dormant

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Two kinds of People

There are people who are too big for their shoes, and then there are “People who are Full-of-Themselves”. Lately, I’ve been dealing with the second type of individuals and it wears on you. 

I guess I am suppose to be SuperWoman and not only do my job, be a mom, be a wife, and try to keep things together for a start-up right now but I am also suppose to know everything that this , let’s call them the FOT (full of themselves) knows as well- or thinks they know. Now I know quite a bit about where we should be in the start-up. In fact I don’t think we’d be where we are today in one portion of it if it weren’t for my knowledge, but the FOT feels otherwise and doesn’t want to acknowledge it. It is an “all about me” case and not a “team” or “good on ya mate well done” case at all. A little frustrating don’t you think?

So I run and get out to do things that I can to try and relieve my levels of stress. I’m looking for other ways. Ideas. Articles, books. Something to help with dealing with a overbearing, controlling individual who turns things back on you. Anyone?

Change for the better

Change is always a tricky situation.

Some do not adjust well to change. Others relish in change. Recently we moved and the change has been great. It is a much needed adjustment for the family.

Yes, things are a little stressful.

-We can’t find things that the movers packed in boxes and we are scrambling to locate them, but we will find them.

-We are still trying to locate some stores in the area and other stores that we are use to don’t exist down here, but there are twice as many other stores to choose from.

-There are a ton of running trails and open spaces and that is a huge benefit. It is quiet and peaceful with no snorting pigs in the backyards or happy dogs, that isn’t allowed in the community.

-We can also see the stars at night. I know that one sounds really cheesy but when you had to drive out of the area because of lighting before to see stars it makes a difference.

Adjustment takes time but with a little patience it will all work out. We will find everything and we will figure it all out. That is what makes change so powerful. The willingness to take a risk and make a change for better or worse.

For us, change is good and I can say that with a smile. Change is definitely good.

It’s time to say farewell my friend Intensity

Dear Intensity:

We’ve had our good and bad days. More bad than good. You’ve caused some undue anxiety and overwhelming feelings that lately have been tied to emotions that shouldn’t be there. It doesn’t make sense to keep hurting each other like this any longer.

I am tired of trying to adapt because of frustration levels you have created for me and I need something much less stressful in my life. There are so many avenues that we can both take if we just let go of the past. Please understand I never meant to hurt you! I just can’t carry on this way. Yes, it will be difficult and we will need to do our best to limit communication, but after all the years of pain and suffering it will be for the best.

Please don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I know that you will be fine as well once you find your one true match.

Sincerely,

Tornin2

In response to the Daily Prompt Daily Prompt: Shape Up or Ship Out

What does it take to ask for help?

I’m not one to ask if I ABSOLUTELY feel that I can get through it by myself. It is how I was raised. ‘Tough it out, you’ll be fine.’ I’ve done this for years. So each day I would get up, go to work, smile, make it through the day as best I could and come home doing it all over again the next day. I’d even bring work home, sit at my sons baseball games or while I sat with my family in the evening not paying attention to them at all. I didn’t realize that it was the environment in which I worked and the people there that contributed to what was happening to me. It wasn’t until it got to be too much that a couple trips to the doctors over a nine month time frame took me out of work for stress. Sure you can say, ‘stress is nothing, whatever’, but it is something.

It got the point that on college visits for my son, I didn’t remember a school that we visited; I couldn’t remember conversations with my husband, I pushed away my friends, I would forget important dates, have nightmares, anxiety, lose sleep, couldn’t eat, snapped at people, everything wrong was happening. I got really scared and didn’t know what was going on. That is when I broke down, literally, and asked for help. I first went to my husband and then the doctors who after just a couple visits diagnosed me with PTSD. Yea, it isn’t just something soldiers who have experienced traumatic experiences come home with, you can have symptoms too. I’m just fortunate enough that I was that scared to have gone to my husband for the support that I needed and for the guidance to get help. I don’t know where I would be today if I didn’t.

After much therapy and a lot of time to heal, my outlook is better than it has been in a long time. I’m no longer in the environment I was in and I’m looking for the right one- which will come along in time. I still have triggers but to not be around the people who caused the trauma and stress is a blessing in itself.

In response to Daily Prompt: Take Care

This highway called life

A highway. A road with two or more lanes. Some may be rough, some may be easy, some may have ups and downs, but all lead to a destination.

There are highways that are full or empty with millions of miles travelled and countless hours put in. Depending on the highway chosen it is somewhere one can be free from the hustle and bustle. No walls to hold you back and no routines to chain you down. No phones, no e-mails, no meetings, no crowds. It is somewhere that you can breathe, you can scream, you can feel – you are once again alive. It is a choice.

Then there is the highway that you move along each day – the conveyer belt called life. You stare at your computer and try to get focused; sit in meetings and hardly pay attention; you do the same routine day to day and feel as if you will never be able to break the cycle. You need something different.

Sometimes you need to find that empty highway and take advantage of what you’ve been missing in your life. Enjoy what your given and be thankful for what you have. Take every minute in and make the most of it, you don’t know how long it will last. No one does. Even if it is for a day, a week, a weekend. The time we have to enjoy the empty highway is for each to know individually.

The highway that you are on may be a road that has been well travelled as mine has been for years. It has had its ups and downs, its rough patches and its repairs, but somewhere along that highway I got lost. I veered off track and needed refocusing. So I took the empty highway and it has made all the difference. I once again feel alive and that in itself is worth the risk of the unknown.

Live a little. Life only comes around once.

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